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November 24, 2012
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Vislor Vittbug sat in his deckchair and watched the Duchess Mistal of Dargul chatting to his wife on the other side of the yacht.

He was glad the two women were getting on well. The banker had spent many an happy hour in the Duchess' box at the Umgulian Blob Races. Lippi always seem to get so bored at races, so it was good for her to have a friend to chat to on those occasions.

The Duchess was such a beautiful and elegant lady. She was dressed in an handsome white dress, with a light silk scarf about her neck. Even in the relaxed atmosphere of Vislor's yacht, she still wore her slender silver tiara. Her feet were bare; even duchesses had to observe the 'no shoes on deck' rule on the Vittbug yacht. She had a silver bracelet around one of her shapely ankles.

These days Dargul had gotten a little too friendly with the New Republic. The Imperial banker hoped that Lippi might be able to persuade the Duchess of the worthiness of the Galactic Empire. All that Rebel diplomacy had to be countered somehow.

Vislor took a swig of his Corellian brandy.

"You've got to help me, Vislor," said a voice from behind him. "You are my only hope."

"Eh? What's that?" said the startled banker.

Vislor turned around. It was that young man, Dack, consort to to the Duchess. Vislor found him very odd. Always so nervous and uncomfortable looking. It was very strange given that he had such a lovely wife.

"I can't believe she's leaving me on my own. She must really be taking to your wife," said Dack.

"What are you talking about, old chap?" asked Vislor.

"My wife! I can't bear her! This is the first time in weeks that she has not kept me right by her side!"

"I say, your wife is a delightful lady! If I was married to her I should certainly want to be by her side all the time," said Vislor.

"You have no idea what it is like!" burst out Dack. "I can't sit down and read a book without her disturbing me. I can't go out for a walk without her wanting to come. I can't watch the holonews without her wanting to distract me. I can't take any more of it."

Vislor tried to get his head around Dack's problem. He glanced back at the beautiful creature talking with his wife. He was finding it very hard to empathize with Dack.

"Well my first two wives were rather ghastly on a bad day, I suppose. Can't you get a divorce?" asked the banker.

"Dargulian law does not recognize divorce. The whole idea of breaking up a marriage is alien to their culture. I can never be free of her until I'm dead!"

Vislor tried to imagine being stuck with his first wife forever. It was not a pleasant notion.

"But why are you bringing this to me?" asked Vislor.

"You're a good man. You're a good friend. And I did give you that advice about which software companies to invest in," said Dack.

"Yes, you did. And it was very good advice. But I'm not sure what you are expecting me to do," said Vislor.

"You can help me escape! You have influence with the Imperial government. You could get me a commission in the Imperial Bureaucracy or the Imperial Navy. You could get me posted far away; in the Unknown Regions maybe.."

Vislor certainly did have a lot of influence, but he had a bad feeling about that suggestion.

"I'm not sure about that, old chap.."

"Please, you have to help me!" pleaded Dack.

"Look here, I really don't think I can get involved. You see, for one thing, Lippi and your wife are friends. Lippi would kill me if I did anything to upset the Duchess."

Dack looked like he was about to say something, but Vislor continued.

"Besides, what about the politics of it? If you deserted your wife while in Imperial territory, with complicity from both Imperial citizens and the Imperial government, as you are suggesting, what do you think would happen? Dargul would fall into the Rebel camp and the Empire would lose any hope of friendly relations with Dargul, and probably Umgul as well. In fact, I'd probably never be able to show my face at the Umgulian Blob races again!"

"I'd do anything..." pleaded Dack.

"Look here, old fellow. I know women can be difficult. Just the other day, Lippi bought this beastly little statue in the market. She insists she wants to put it in the hallway. I told her that was an awful idea, but she is insisting on it. And Lippi can be clingy too. She's always asking me what I've been up to. And she won't ever let me play Sabacc..."

At that moment, the two women broke off their conversation and turned to face the two men.

The Duchess Mistal began pattering towards her consort.

"Will this never end?" whispered Dack.

"Oh, my poor Dacky," said the Duchess. "I've missed you so much. Please tell me you've been missing me too!"

Before Dack could emit another groan, the Duchess had wrapped her arms around him and began planting kisses on his cheeks.

"What a peculiar fellow," muttered Vislor, shaking his head
A Star Wars fan fiction.

Remember Dack and the Duchess of Mistal? They appeared in Kevin J Anderson's Jedi Academy Trilogy.

Dack was an electronics genius who cheated in a competition to determine the consort of the Duchess Mistal of Dargul. This turned out to be a big mistake because she was unbearably clingy and never allowed the man a moment's peace. Dack escaped, but was returned to the Duchess after he was caught cheating at the Umgulian Blob Races.


Vislor and Lippi Vittbug were created by me, along with the planet Canntrop.

Star Wars was created by George Lucas.
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:iconthe-conquerors:
I haven't done one of these in a while so lets get down to it. I was actually able to recognize Dack since the Jedi academy trilogy was the first Expanded Universe books that I had read- and it seems you nailed his whiny personality to perfection.

Not much went on here but Ill try my best anyway. The Vittbugs are still interesting people and it seems that they've had nearly the whole damn galaxy on this yacht of theirs. Even the duchess and Dacky-poo are invited. To tell you the truth when Dack said he wanted Vislor to "deal" with his wife I thought he wanted to be, ahem, swimming with the fishes.

In all regards the scene was funny but not much happened that really stuck with the reader, though it is nice some minor one shot characters were given attention since the whole ordeal with Dack seemed to be an excuse for Kevin J. Anderson to fill in as many pages as possible for the completion of his book. And as a convoluted way to get Lando as an owner of his own drug cartel- I mean "spice" mining production. Yeah let's go with that.
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:iconsingle-leg:
single-leg Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2012
I wont lie, I dont know the Star Wars novel universe but I like all the yacht stories with the awkward decorum and what not!
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:iconderistad:
deristad Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Ah, the wait is over. Good story so far, I can't wait to hear the rest.
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:iconcelestialhost:
Celestialhost Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
The rest? That was a one-shot. No escape for Dack, I'm afraid.
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:iconderistad:
deristad Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
No, I meant about the Vittbugs. I could care less about the royals problems.
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:iconcelestialhost:
Celestialhost Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I'll do some more with them, don't worry
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:iconderistad:
deristad Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Awesome can't wait.
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